Knightess Hilde Hart Swordyke




Str: 4, Agi: 4, Res: 9, Wis: 1, Soc: 1, Special (Sword): 8

Signature Weapon:




Played by:


"I think I already know where this is going."

The elder sister of house of Swordfag. Known to carry exagerated ammounts of armour BOOBPLATE so now it's normal armour again, in battle, plus a massive greatsword, Dyke is extremely tough. Known to be rather short tempered, and lack some oversight. Might or might not despise anything with a penis.

Adventure SummaryEdit

Dyke is a wanderer and adventurer above all else, only having left her home to see the world. She has no set objectives in mind, nor alliances, apart from her house. She has recently been spotted riding a cheese eating bear that's part of a circus. And then carrying a bound succubus over her shoulder. She had odd tastes in company.

Notable FeatsEdit

- Defeated the evil of DLC by stabbing it in the dick with a dark and edgy sword.

- Survived multiple injuries that would have killed a normal man without even flinching.

-"My vision is augmented."

-Provokes people really well.

-Accidentally killed a pack of undead dogs while taking her plate off.

-Actually looked like a proper woman for once.

-Defeated and dominated a succubus. Don't ask.


Squire Sigfrith Bobbhart Swordfaget




Str: 6, Agi: 5, Res: 4, Wis: 3, Soc: 3, Special (Sword): 7

Signature Weapon:




Played by:


"These bananas, they will not peeeell!"

The youngest brother of house Swordfag. Known to have an obsession with the colour black, spikes and horned helms. Enjoys listening to "deep" and "meaningful" songs. He is the least capable man of the trio. He is also a raging homosexual. Always carries an oversized black leather coat with him, complete with a hood. Is known to be incapable of wielding anything bigger than a longsword.

Adventure SummaryEdit

Swordfaget is the only survivor of an adventuring band, after being ambushed by a count that enjoyed hunting humans for no reason other than to be edgy. After contemplating his loss, Swordfaget decided to follow in his footsteps, becoming too edgy for you. He is usually an annoying brat with streaks of luck.

Notable FeatsEdit

-Somehow survived being mauled by multiple Hellhounds.

-Defeated an edgy hunter in single combat after getting his entire party wiped out

-Performed the legendary maneuver "Faget Punch", stopping a car from crashing down from the heavens and killing his entire party.

-Crashed into a fast moving meteor, got stabbed multilpe times, and THEN ran through BOTH sides with spears and gave absolutely no fucks.

-Defeated a group of kids that made his life a living hell while he was a mall cop.

-Sucessfully convinced mall security that he was a travelling clown, and got one thousand gold for his troubles!

-Maliciously beat a 15 year old in a playfight.

-Memorized all the lyrics of every Linkin Park song ever.

-Defeated six reverse mermaids on his own when his charge was kidnapped. And then guided the party through a maze of intense weed smoke. Straight edge is best edge.

-Destroyed a giant mechanized drill and a megalomaniacal mayor in conjunction with a Wolfgirl by the virtue of being extremely, extremely angry.

-His real name is Bob

The KnightmareEdit





Str: 7, Agi: 2, Res: 8, Wis: 2, Soc: 1, Special (Knightmare): 7

Signature Weapon:




Played by:


"I will show you the greatest Knightmare!"

An complete ripoff from Nightmare alternate version of Knight Swordfag. The Knightmare was born in the battle of Scenicia, where an army of Fae assaulted the settlement. Being the last survivor of the town's meager defenses, Swordfag attempted to summon the Blade of Swordfag - but instead, summoned a Mimic Weapon - a type of living being from the lower planes. The influence of the weapon forced the Knight into a blood rage, causing the entire town to be wiped of life. He was later found by the forces of the adjacent village - and thrust back into adventuring. The influence of the weapon was mutating the body of the knight - sometimes causing him to agress his own allies. After a convoluted, long quest regarding celestial instruments and picnics, the corruption on Sigvard was stabilized.

Adventure SummaryEdit

After managing to clear his body of corruption via the Harp of Longinus, it was revealed that inside it, resided some sort of extremely powerful, daemonic spirit, that wants to Knight for itself - and itself alone. Sigvard decided to comply to it's wishes, so it wouldn't go berserk, and kill everyone. He had one week to not be a bitch find a way to dismiss this spirit, else he'll become a bitch bonded to that spirit for eternity. After the time was up, the situation remained rather unsolved, as Sigvard was unable to accept or reject Replica entirely. After a trip to Felicia and a string of long conversations, the Knight seemed to have come to terms with his situation, although it is unclear how he did so.

Notable FeatsEdit

- Destroyed Scenicia in a bloodrage.

- Single-handedly killed Lous, Shadowbro and the Avatar of Torrin. At the same time. And Will. And Trahken. -45 bonuses are cheap, okay?

- Made a Gypsy go on a date with a Scarred Succubus. It was awesome.

- Defeated a Frost Revenant AND the Party by going into yet another bloodrage similar to the one in Scenicia.

- Capable of mesmerizing goblins with his dance moves. His /EVIL/ dance moves.

- Completely wrecked a phalanx of Broccubi by using the age-old tactic of CHARGING.


- Makes wrath demons cry, boo-hoo.

- Punched through a catfolk's chest. By accident.

- Is seriously overpowered.

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