Brolaire of ASStora
Brolaire of ASStora


The Grossly Incandescent Yellow of the Sun



Signature Weapon:



Badass Lord of Brohalla

Played by:


"Roll to intimidate."

Brolaire of ASStora is a legendary figure among adventurers, rumoured to have been so awesome that he created the mythical Brohalla, the afterlife for those strong of heart and bad of ass. Stories of his bravery have been spread across Londor as an inspiration to continue to fight for brighter day. Many have heard the call to arms and strive to join him in the Badass Halls of Brohalla when their adventures are at an end.

Adventure SummaryEdit

Brolaire has only undertaken a single adventure in his career for he is the most efficient hero in existence - he was so efficient that he had never attacked another living being during his quest. What adventure could be so important and challenging that he need not oppose evil ever again? Save the daughter of a local nobleman; the quest that changed the fate of an entire world. It is now predicted that Brolaire spends the rest of his days playing with puppies, praising the Sun and winning Sunny D drinking contests in eternal peace within Brohalla.

The Many Notable Feats of BrolaireEdit


An ancient portrait from the Age of Disco.

-Destroyed half a door to gain entrance to the nobleman's tower.

-Pointing dramatically during the quest assignment.

-Broke a man's fist upon his jaw when he was assaulted.

-Intimidated a burning circus tent to stop falling down, saving his entire party, many innocents, a group of orphaned kittens* and defeating the two powerful magi the party had been fighting by being that impressive.

-When trying to stop a cruel slaver from fleeing, Brolaire intended to apprehend the foul villain with a well aimed dirtball. Instead he ended up throwing dirt over his entire party "by accident".

-To atone for his failure, Brolaire intimidated the essence of time itself to go fix his mistake. Having rewound time to a few minutes ago, Brolaire proceeded to throw dirt over his entire party once again.

-Brolaire and his party discovered a large slave exchange of whores inside the circus, now devoid of the slaver scum who by this point had fled. Doing what any man in his position would do to soothe the tormented souls of these unfortunate women, he seduced every single one of them at once.

-Having rescued the daughter of the nobleman, who was trapped among the enslaved whores, Brolaire heroically intimidated the entire horde of women that were chasing after the party trying to get a glimpse of the dashing Brolaire.

-Needing to take a quick break from his heroic antics, Brolaire intimidated himself into a coma to be dragged around by the rest of his party for a while. They were honored to do so*.

-Having had his (unrequired) beauty sleep, Brolaire intimidated himself out of the coma as his party desperately required his steadfast leadership.

-Back at the nobleman's tower, Brolaire proceeded to destroy the other half of the door. He does not leave business unfinished. It was later discovered that the door was the Door of Hatred, preventing the free peoples of the world from uniting with its malicious entrance blocking powers. With this mighty blow, Brolaire destroyed the door and this would later give him the power to forge Brohalla.

-Once the party had reunited the nobleman with his daughter, Brolaire decided his reward for such bravery would be the maiden's hand in marriage and the maiden could not refuse such eloquent* seduction.

-Her father was quite furious that she chose to marry such a handsome example of a man for whatever reason and so The Battle for Everyone's Souls began.

-In this fight, time once again was on Brolaire's side for he intimidated it to bend to his will several times during combat.

-The battle was ended when an oversized spirit bomb was intimidated by Brolaire into dissipating harmlessly, the bravery and courage of such an act causing existence to shed a single, manly tear.

-Such a display of bro-ness could only be expressed in the most sacred of motions: the brofist. The Brofist was performed by the members of the party, releasing such powerful emotion among all living beings that the very fabric of existence was reforged in the image of Brolaire.

-Created the badass realm of Brohalla, spirit world for the heroic dead.

  • Accounts may vary. Despite this, Brolaire is always correct.